It’s healthy to have an affair from time to time

Infidelity is a topic that has long been associated with deception, betrayal, and the breakdown of relationships. It is a subject that society, in general, views with strong disapproval and condemnation. However, there exists a minority perspective that suggests having an affair from time to time might actually have certain benefits for individuals and, paradoxically, their primary relationships. In this article, we will explore the controversial idea that infidelity, when approached with care and consideration, might have some unexpected health benefits.

Understanding the Controversy

Before delving into the potential advantages of having an affair, it is essential to clarify that this perspective is highly contentious and does not endorse dishonesty, betrayal, or disregard for one’s partner’s feelings. Instead, proponents argue that some individuals may find fulfillment and personal growth through consensual, non-monogamous relationships that include extramarital affairs.

A Shift in Perspective

Proponents of this perspective often advocate for a fundamental shift in how we view relationships. Instead of expecting a single person to fulfill all our emotional, physical, and intellectual needs for an entire lifetime, they suggest that accepting the possibility of multiple partners might be more realistic and healthy in some cases.

Addressing Unmet Needs

One argument in favor of occasional affairs is that they can provide a means to address unmet needs within a primary relationship. This could include desires for novelty, sexual exploration, or emotional connection. While communication and mutual understanding are ideal ways to address these needs, some individuals find that exploring these aspects with someone outside of their primary relationship can be enriching and personally fulfilling.

Self-Discovery and Personal Growth

Having an affair, when approached with honesty and consent, can provide an opportunity for self-discovery and personal growth. It can allow individuals to explore aspects of themselves that may have been suppressed or neglected within the confines of a monogamous relationship. By engaging with different people, they may gain insights into their desires, boundaries, and personal preferences.

Maintaining a Primary Relationship

Surprisingly, proponents argue that occasional affairs might actually help maintain the health of a primary relationship. The idea is that by addressing unmet needs and desires outside the relationship, individuals may return to their primary partner with renewed appreciation and energy. In some cases, this can strengthen the bond between partners.

The Controversial Benefits

Improved Communication

One potential benefit of having an affair is improved communication within a primary relationship. The act of discussing desires, boundaries, and consent for extramarital encounters requires open and honest communication. This skill can spill over into the primary relationship, fostering better understanding and emotional connection between partners.

Rekindled Passion

For some couples, introducing novelty and excitement through consensual extramarital affairs can reignite the passion in their primary relationship. The thrill of experiencing something new can create a heightened sense of desire and attraction, both of which can be directed back toward the primary partner.

Enhanced Emotional Intelligence

Navigating non-monogamous relationships often requires a high degree of emotional intelligence. Individuals must manage jealousy, insecurity, and complex emotions while maintaining empathy and respect for their partners. Developing these emotional skills can lead to personal growth and greater relationship satisfaction.

Reduced Pressure and Expectations

Monogamous relationships often come with high expectations and pressure to be everything for one’s partner. In contrast, occasional affairs can reduce this pressure by allowing individuals to seek specific needs outside the relationship. This can lead to a more relaxed and enjoyable primary relationship.

Avoiding Resentment

In some cases, partners may choose to have affairs as a way to avoid building resentment toward their primary partner. If certain needs or desires are consistently unmet, resentment can fester and erode the relationship over time. Having open and consensual extramarital encounters can serve as a release valve for such tensions.


The idea that it’s healthy to have an affair from time to time is undoubtedly controversial and challenges the societal norms surrounding monogamy and fidelity. It is crucial to emphasize that this perspective does not endorse dishonesty, betrayal, or non-consensual behavior. Instead, it promotes open communication, honesty, and consensual non-monogamy as a way for some individuals to address unmet needs and explore personal growth.

It’s important to recognize that what works for one couple may not work for another, and the decision to engage in extramarital affairs should always be made with careful consideration, mutual consent, and respect for all parties involved. Ultimately, whether monogamous or non-monogamous, the key to healthy and fulfilling relationships lies in open communication, mutual understanding, and a commitment to the well-being of all involved.